LAST EMAIL!

Here's how my week went:

- Had the lesson with the Bryant's ... (active wife, sealed in the temple, husband just decided to leave the church after getting into some anti stuff).  This lesson was a big deal.  We fasted for it, Sister Bryant fasted for it; we studied, we prayed, we planned.  He agreed to have the ward mission leader, who has had a similar experience in the past, there with us. We had a conference call the day before and planned a little more. Sister Bryant was SO stressed. She was trying to decided where everyone should sit and where the table should go and what kind of treats to have, if any, etc. Like this was a life or death thing for her.  Sister Costa and I decided to focus on God and Christ and the creation. If Mark (Brother Bryant) wanted to study the Book of Abraham, we could use the scriptures and help him remember his testimony of Christ and the Plan of Salvation, etc. Then we prepared some scriptures in the Bible and Book of Mormon to help him feel the Spirit. We planned to teach like any other lesson ... mostly with inspired questions like, "Who is Jesus Christ for you? How do you know he's there? How have you seen His hand in your life?" etc., then testify. Well ....

How it actually went:
Our ward mission leader totally took control. He's brilliant, ok?  Like a scientist for NASA, no joke. And he just spouted off all these facts about Abraham and the Pearl of Great Price and the fascimilies and deep Old Testament stories ... I wanted to cry.  So me and Sister Costa sat for about a half hour (already longer than our lessons are supposed to be) and finally interrupted with some questions to try and see where Mark was at ... and then I just felt stupid because they're talking all this deep doctrine and here am I asking about faith and stuff. It was an hour and a half mess of a lesson, to be quite honest.

Now I could have been angry or frustrated or upset ... Sister Costa kinda was. We could have thought, "Why did our ward mission leader do that?!  Why couldn't he stop talking?!"  Whatever. But you know what?  There were LOTS of people fasting and praying for that lesson - including our WML.  So the fact that it went that way, that must've been how the Lord wanted it. Maybe Mark felt something, I don't know. I doubt it. But if he didn't, now isn't his time. Maybe their marriage isn't supposed to be fixed? But I trust the power of prayer and fasting, so it is what it is, folks.  On the bright side- I learned a lot about the temple, covenants, Abraham, etc

Apparently we have a new mission president?  No one's told me anything. We had zone conferences on Wednesday and that was the last I saw or heard of President Hansen. Weird ... at zone conference they invited all the stake leaders. All my past bishops and WML's from Bountiful were there and it was awesome. I love and miss them all so much ... it was great. I got permission to contact my recent converts to invite them to the departing testimony meeting this Sunday and that's been fun to reconnect with them. I love them all so much.  I talked a lot with Holly Richards - who I love. She just got her patriarchal blessing and plans to go through the temple in May. She's so solid and on fire!  But her inactive husband still hasn't come around ... and it's been hard on their marriage. how do you go one way when your husband goes the other? bless her heart.  I'm so done being a marriage counselor. The only marriage I ever want to fix is my own!

What's the biggest lesson I've learned on my mission?  Spiritual confidence. I am happy to say that I feel like a good missionary finally. I've probably gotten too bold and too pushy ... but I only have a week to call people to repentance and save them all a place in the celestial kingdom - of course I'm going to be bold!  Right?  Is that ok?  We are teaching an investigator from England who lives with his girlfriend, who's a member ... they're really a good looking pair.  We taught them last night and I had to do everything in my power to control myself and not just say everything on my mind in front of her 5 kids ... but it's all good - missionary work's fun. The gospel's great.  The plan of salvation's awesome.  Agency's legit (...sometimes..).

Insight from our zone conference:

WHEN I FACE TRIALS:
Do I:
- place my life in His hands and seek to align my will with His
- turn toward God and seek for His spirit to guide me
- try to do everything on my own
- think "God may be there but I'm not worthy of His help right now"
- turn from God and doubt his existence

Reality check, huh?

Real reality check .... my Marc Jacobs watch stopped this morning and I literally had an emotional meltdown.

Pray I make it through the next 6 days..... just kidding, I'll be fine - I made it this far, right? YES. Let's do this!  See you all soon!

"Put your arms from around the mission securely around the temple."
-President Hansen


xxoxoxoxoxoxo

Sister Shields

DEPARTING! And my 6th sense

This week I had my final departing interview with President Hansen ... departing testimony at our district meeting ... departing luncheon ... and departing temple day with the 15 other missionaries going home with me.  And guess what? I don't "depart" for 2 more weeks.

Shoot me.

Just kidding, it's fine - haha. But it is kinda weird ... President did it all early because he gets released Saturday and the new mission president comes in.

For departing temple day- let me paint you a picture here for a sec .... 11 sisters, 2 elders, our AP's and the AP in training (Elder Carroll who's from Gilbert and went to Mesquite- isn't that weird? We like, know each other's crossroads and wards and stuff ... weird.).  We wake up at 5 to get to the mission home on time, with rush hour, by 7. The AP's don't show up until 8 ... the temple session doesn't start til 10.. what the? The elders drove in a mission truck and Elder Tapia (AP) asked me to drive the mission van with all the sisters ... I really thought he was kidding but I don't know if he was, hahah so instead we all appointed Sister Pilling.  Remember her?  From my first companionship with Sister Hornberger?  Now I love Sister Pilling. She's hilarious. And so she drove this huge van all the way down to South Jordan, full of loud annoyi .... I mean - wonderful, 18-months matured and uplifted sisters. It was a party. Normally after the departing temple trip, all the missionaries go to the mission home and Sister Hansen puts together a luncheon but ..... President took us to a nice restaurant in City Creek because he's... $$$.

It was fun and neat and cool and full of overpriced, small portioned food. (Sidenote - I love when members feed us and use the phrase "carb loading." We're missionaries that sit and teach lessons all day and cover a mile-by-mile stake area and have a car. Thanks for helping us "carb load" on pasta and garlic bread and brownies ...?  I blame the members for my excessive weight gain and not getting married for 10 more years. Just kidding, sorry....)  Departing stuff was fun, haha - I think President was close to having to separate me and Sister Pilling at lunch though ... we were having too much fun nominating sisters who would be the "firsts to go home." Like, first to get a job, first to get married, etc. I'm not going to tell you what I was nominated for .... it wasn't "first to get a job," or "first to a leadership church calling," I'll tell ya that much...

So I'm officially naming the last transfer of my mission "Marriage Counseling." I swear ... We are working with a husband and wife - the wife's active and the husband (who's a high priest) got into some anti-Mormon literature and decided to leave the church. Basically it's tearing their marriage apart (go figure). We have a lesson set up to teach him and he wants to study the Pearl of Great Price because apparently that's something people who don't believe in Joseph Smith get caught up on...?  And if this lesson doesn't help him, they will probably get divorced. I don't know anything about the Pearl of Great Price. NOTHING. So I'm sitting in personal study trying to crack down and study it .... it was confusing and frustrating and I couldn't think of anything to tell this man that would change his mind. There is a lot about the gospel that doesn't make sense and can't be supported by physical or scientific evidence.  Am I right?  So I was praying and thinking and trying to focus (probably eating something and on the verge of crying, too.. haha)  and then I looked around at all these pictures of my convert's baptisms, and my mission journal, and my mission companion’s letters, and notes and pictures with them, and my mission scriptures that are all marked up ... and the picture of the Salt Lake temple and President and Sister Hansen.  And  thought - okay, Sister Shields. Let's calm down and not get confused or stressed here. What do I know is true? Well, I know my mission has been the hardest thing ever and it's a miracle I've survived this long. I know I love my companions and my converts more than life itself. I know Sister Hansen saved my life. I love my scriptures more than anything. Okay, so who care about the rest of it? Jesus Christ is our Savior, Joseph Smith restored His church after it had been gone a long time; the Book of Mormon testifies of that. I know the plan of salvation is real because my dad's probably dying and my mission president's wife died and that's the only way I kept going. And I know that's all true because that's what I've been telling people and swearing by it the past 18 months ... so who cares about the rest? It all falls into place. I still don't know about Joseph Smith's wives, and blacks and the priesthood, so don't ask. But who cares, because the rest of it is true! It's like an all or nothing deal.  And I know that's true.

I have a 6th sense. I can sense marital issues from a mile away. A few months ago we taught this less-active lady and her little kids.  Her husband wasn't home so I didn't meet him. We hadn't been able to meet with her since then, but yesterday she texted and said she had moved out of the ward because she and her husband are separated and getting a divorce. Sister Costa's like, "you called it!" What ...? I guess right after we met with her I said, “I bet she has marital problems and her husband's mean to her.”  I really don't remember saying or thinking that, but apparently I did and I was right. Then we had a dinner this week, and the family was totally active and the couple wasn't fighting, but their house just felt weird ... the way they were talking to each other was weird. Afterwards I said something to Sister Costa about how marriage is so hard and that was so sad, and she was like, "what are you talking about ...?" Haha, then our ward mission leader said that couple is really struggling and he wanted us to have dinner there to try and save their marriage. Seriously? There's been lots of other things too, but I'm really convinced I have a 6th sense.  How cool is that? Wait, do I actually have talents?  Maybe I should go into marriage cou ..... No. Never. Haha, but anyways it's weird.

That's the end of my week. Besides teaching Tressa, who's doing really well. This week we asked about how she's liking her Book of Mormon study; somehow she casually mentioned that she breastfeeds her nieces and nephews .... then we brought it back to the plan of salvation, shared a scripture, committed her to read and pray, and called it a day.

All in a day's work.

-Sister Shields


ROMANS 21:2
"Be not conformed to this world but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

1 Cor 7:40
"But she is happier if she so abides after my judgements."

Happy Valentine's Day

Saturday night we got a call asking us to speak in a Sacrament meeting. They said we had the whole hour so talk as long as we possibly could. Well, that's dangerous to tell me because I literally could talk all day, haha! So Sister Costa talked for 15 minutes or so and I talked the rest of the time. But remember - not gonna lie - I give pretty dang good talks. So it was good! No one fell asleep- I was watching!!!  Afterwards a little 10 or 11 year old boy came up to me and gave me this ... so either my talk was so boring that he had nothing better to do than draw, or he really liked it because he quoted me on something. I LOVE this and it made me so happy. how cute is that??

Hello beauties. Life is good - the week was good. I don't really know what else to say...
This cute little girl preparing for a mission came and shadowed us this week. She's so good- she's already a better missionary than I am... haha, it was fun though- I really think she had a good experience.

We started teaching this guy named Dennis. He's in his 50's and his wife just died- he's really been struggling. He's not active and hasn't been for years. He lives in this SUPER old house and likes to collect really expensive antiques and like, renaissance art and stuff... his house really looks like a museum.  I really kinda like it - other than the smell. He's just a weird guy though - he's always kind of given me the creeps.  Since he's a single guy, we need to go there with another female according to mission rules.  But this past week I really just felt like we should bring a guy too ... like I said, he kinda gives me the creeps. As we sat down and finished teaching the restoration- he admitted he hasn't prayed in 30 years.  We asked him some questions and tried to find out why ... he got really stubborn and said he thinks prayer is only for weak people who can't deal with their problems on their own.  Then I asked for his spiritual goals and he said he has achieved all of them and feels good with life.  He got really defensive and kinda mean and scary ... actually really mean and scary.  And he started saying why his house feels different - it's because he has the "real spirit" in it.  Uhh ... creepy, haha!  So I took lead - testified nicely, asked to leave with a prayer ... and we were out of there.

Afterwards my comp and Anna (girl shadowing us) were all frustrated and wondered why I didn't set up a return appointment. Then I realized how much the mission really has changed me. You can't change people who aren't willing to change or help people who don't want help.  Arguing doesn't bring the Spirit, so move on folks!  It was an interesting experience and I know the rest of the day they were both kinda upset ... but I just shook it off!  Glad I have learned how to deal with things like that.

I also realized this week that I have really learned to love people. I used to really struggle with being happy with some companions ... not like, trying to get along with them - I can get along with pretty much anyone. But being happy and having fun with someone I have nothing in common with ... I used to really struggle with that!  I think a lot of people do.  I liked my friends who like shopping and clothes and watches and nice things and hair and exercise and art.  Well I have recently realized that having things in common with people doesn't really make a difference ... me and Sister Costa have absolutely nothing in common.  She's a biologist, for goodness sake.  But when it comes down to it - we are all God's children and we all have our challenges and things we struggle with and are working to overcome ... so that can bring us all together!  It makes me wish I would have given some people more of a chance and gotten to know them better before.  And I also wish I would've done my visiting teaching in college ... note to everyone - do your visiting teaching.  And don't just do it once a month.

Had dinner this week with Jessica and Peyden.  Jessica is our investigator that we have a hard time meeting with, and Peyden is her boyfriend - they live with his family who is active. They are literally my age ... and have a 2 year old (weird).  They really have the desire to be sealed in the temple and that's something that's really important to them.  But for some reason they feel no urgency to get married or have lessons with us so Jessica can get baptized ... they go to church and read their scriptures though! As we were talking with them over dinner - I was looking at Jessica and just thinking.... okay- what's her hold up?  What is she struggling with?  I didn't really figure it out, but I saw how much she ate and how she was watching people to see if they were paying attention to what she was eating.  And I see the way she acts around people and how skinny she is and know deep down inside what she's struggling with, and that makes me really sad. I'm not gonna lie- she's really hot.  And so is her boyfriend.  And they are on the right path - but she needs to understand that the only way to get over something like that is by learning about the Savior's atonement and applying it.  Until then ... there's nothing we can do.  So we're praying for them!
This week we went on exchanges with our STL's (my 2nd STL's my whole mission) I was with Sister Payne and we had a party.  We were teaching a little boy with ADHD about the 10 commandments ... we said: "Caleb, the 7th commandment is don't commit adultery ... do you know what that means?" Caleb: "No. But I know what Dollar Tree is!"
HAHA

Also yesterday we went to a girl's mission homecoming and it made me really realize the things I will and will not do at mine ... we sat in the back with all of her friends and by the end I was choking from the smell of perfume. I hope my friends don't cake on makeup and wear bucket loads of perfume and be all over their boyfriends the whole time at my homecoming, because that's not why we go to church, folks ...

Speaking of going to church - guess who went to church?  Tressa. Not sure if I told you about her ... she's a member but is super stubborn and believes in God but not Jesus Christ.  She's super cute and funny and is into alternative medicine and organic food and could go on all day about how the world is coming to an end because of how terrible flame retardant mattresses are.  Not to mention she still breastfeeds her 3 year old. Sorry, TMI - just had to paint you the whole picture of her life.  But anyways- she came to church!

Someone this week at a dinner appointment said when their daughters were engaged - he asked the fiance about his favorite part of the Book of Mormon so he could tell how active they were and how strong their testimony was ... good idea, but I thought about it and it kinda made me panic because I didn't know what I would say ... haha, but then I thought about it and realized without a doubt - my favorite B of M chapters are 3 Nephi 11, when Christ is resurrected and comes to the America's, and 3 Nephi 18 when Christ institutes the sacrament.  I have really found a love in teaching people about the sacrament ... I have a strong testimony in teaching at least one lesson to investigators and less-actives about the sacrament.  It works every time with getting people to church, I swear!  And my all-time fav chapter in the Bible is Romans 8.

Here's a good valentine's scripture:

"Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:39

-Sister Shields

Me and Sister Payne, one of the STL's.  We went to BYU-I together, so it was fun to go on exchanges with her!

Valentine's Day with our STL's - we made a group decision to name this picture "4 chubby Salt Lake sisters"

With Anna, our cute missionary-in-training

You know you're a ditz when ...

I’m seriously losing my mind ... I'm mentally and physically and spiritually exhausted.  It's pathetic. You know you're stupid when:

-Your companion starts stories and sentences with, "When I was studying for my masters..." or, "When my family joined the church ..." and you start with, "When I was in hair school..." or, "One time in college I missed curfew and got locked out of my apartment building ..."
-Sunday ... we went to what I thought was the Fruit Heights 2nd Relief Society ... I was being all friendly and introducing myself to everyone and getting all excited to meet all these new people ... the Relief Society president was so excited to see their ward had sisters. She's like, “did you just take over the area for the elders?”  Uhh no, you've had sisters for awhile .... weird. They had us stand up and talk about ourselves and everyone LOVED us. Anyways 45 minutes into the lesson I look at the board and realize the flyer says "Farmington North Stake"....... You're kidding, right?  We weren't just in the wrong ward - we were in the wrong stake. That's why everyone was so excited for sisters ... it was the ELDER’S STAKE.  I seriously felt SO STUPID I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.... Sister Costa even asked many times if that was our ward and I thought of course it is!  Uhh ... so we had to explain to the RSP what happened ... awkward.

I'm losing my mind.

I've been trying really hard to focus my thoughts- especially during the sacrament at church and when teaching lessons....

So in church I start by thinking about Jesus and how much I have learned about Him and the Plan of Salvation ... then I see a baby. That baby is so cute I'm gonna die ... she's so chubby and cute ... look at that BOW.  I wonder if that's hot glued?  Or maybe they hand-stitched it ... my baby will have lots of bling, that's a fact. Oh shoot - Jesus. That's right, sacrament. I wonder if it will be weird when I get home to only go to one sacrament meeting a week instead of 3.... weird. I need to start thinking about jobs I can apply for ... maybe for my job interview I'll wear a skirt like that lady's ... that's cute, right? Or is it?  I dunno, I think it is.... okay back to sacrament. I really do love the sacrament; what a blessing. I wonder when the pioneers starting wearing garments ... is that in the D&C? I'm gonna check ... I wonder what kind of fabric they used because they didn't have polyester or stretchy stuff ... cotton? That's uncomfortable ... I really should take a textile class at college.... okay, back to the D&C. Where does it talk about polygamy? I love the pioneers.... they're awesome.  Okay, look at her watch ... I need a silver watch.

No joke, it's a mental battle.

And in lessons:

Wow, their kitchen is so pretty... I wonder if they refinished those cabinets or bought them like that? Granite is beautiful ... I need granite... okay, we should probably start this lesson now and break up this conversation about football ... I wonder why our investigator never prays in our lessons... maybe she’s embarrassed. She doesn't come to church either, even when she says she will ... maybe she had a bad experience. Maybe she doesn't understand God loves her... she looks sad ... well high school is hard- I don't blame her. I remember when I was in high school..... remember when I "dated" ____ .... I wonder how he is ... he needs the gospel. Maybe I should go out to eat with him when I get home and help him come back to church .... shoot- lesson! Okay, where were we? What's going on? Wow, that wall is so cute ... I wonder if that's wallpaper or if they stenciled it? SHOOT!

It's SO HARD! But I'm trying.

We had a fireside with Elder Nelson's wife this week and it was so good. Also we had a fireside with a refugee from Palestine who joined the church in college at BYU and then when she went back to Israel she had to hop fences and break the law to go to church .... it was crazy! Made me feel ungrateful and spoiled.

We have a girl preparing to serve a mission tagging along with us for the next couple of days. Hopefully we don't scare her .....

Have a great week everyone!
Sister Shields

White Cabinets and Really Cheap Gas

Temple Square with the Delight family

Quotes of the Week:

(Little girl to Sister Costa, in the middle of dinner): "You are so pretty; you're the prettiest girl I've ever seen."
*long awkward silence*
(Little girl's mom): " ... and Sister Shields is too!"
(Little girl): "Not really ..."
Me (before anyone else could say anything: "No really guys, it's ok..." hahah

(Keep in mind, I set records for the world's ugliest outfits like everyday. Lauren and Kacie and Amanda would be ashamed of me!)

(Another little girl) *plops down on my lap* (which is against the rules and I was in shock and didn't know what to do) "Sister Shields, when I come to your house, will you have a baby?"
Me:  (as I lift her onto her chair) "Umm...."
(Her dad): "Give her a few years, honey."
(Little girl): "But I want a baby sister NOW!"
Me: (as I lift her onto her chair for the 4th time) "Okay, so today we're talking about the Word of Wisdom ..."

HAHA you had to be there!

I have a newfound love for the New Testament. I'm reading Acts right now and it's so interesting to see how the apostles acted by the Holy ghost in the place of Jesus Christ after he died. Crazy?

I am physically trunky. My body is shutting down. I do not want to go to zone activities and play sports and I don't care how much crap the elders give me for not going. I am tired.

So we are working with this less active named Corrina.. She hasn't been to church since she was young and she's 50 or so now. She started coming back a few months ago and then we came in to to teach her so she would have a basic understanding of the gospel. She's had a really rough life and struggles with addiction problems but I love her to death... It's really exhausting teaching her though. She makes all this progress and then the next day she goes out partying, comes home drunk, falls down the stairs and breaks her leg. Then she has to be on prescription pain pills (which she used to be addicted too) and all the sudden she goes downhill and starts drinking again (5 years sober). It's really emotionally draining to teach her. I feel like a mother. Or like I'm back in high school having to babysit my stoner guy friends at parties and keep them from doing something stupid... but you know what? I really feel God's love for her and we aren't giving up on her. She lives with her active cousin and her family - the cousin pulled us aside at church yesterday and thanked us for being so patient... Sister Costa doesn't say anything in the lessons with her because she doesn't know what to say, hahah - she gets out of the lessons and says, "I'm so sorry, Sister- I just don't understand what she's saying... what's a stripper?" Bless her heart- I love foreign companions more than life. It's like the time Sister Tranchina and I were talking to someone on the street who was moving to Oregon and a few minutes into the conversation she said, "so you play the piano AND the organ?" HAHAHA!  Anyways I love Corrina and I know that I was supposed to have stoner friends in high school because now I know exactly how to handle people like that. Except now I use scriptures and prayer. It's the coolest thing though... we'll go into her lessons and she'll be all angry and yell about stupid doctors and stupid dishonest friends, etc. and then we say the opening prayer... and she's fine. It's the coolest thing!

This week we had a night of double appointments and desperately needed a last minute split. I remembered this sweet lady who took us to dinner and said she would love to go on splits so I asked her. She was married in the temple and her and her husband were active in the church for 30 years. Her husband was the high priest group leader a a few years ago - then out of the blue he just left the church. He'd had enough! It broke her heart ... this was a few months ago. All of her kids are inactive and a few have started these anti ex-Mormon groups and stuff- so when he left the church her kids were celebrating! How terrible is that? it broke her heart and she's been going to church and the temple and what not all alone since then... it sounded like he got into some anti-mormon literature- that stuff's messy. Anyways ... so she came teaching with me and admitted she really didn't have time that night to come, but she knew there was a reason I asked her so she prayed and told the Lord she would find a way to come if He helped her out. She said things with her husband had been really bad.... they were on the verge of divorce and they were still living together but in separate sides of the house. How sad, right?!  Well after our lessons, later that night she texted me and said her husband accepted to have us teach him the lessons. WHAT?!!  I was shocked!  Just goes to show the Lord takes His promises really seriously.

Remember a few weeks ago when I was talking about Natalie Delight? The divorced mom who we were trying to help with her testimony? Well I love her. We went to temple square with her kids and I seriously love her. It was so much fun- she's like my best friend, haha. We went with her to church on Sunday and we sat together and I didn't realize how much we were talking, I guess... sweet Sister Costa afterwards was like, "Sister, maybe you should start being Natalie's missionary instead of her best friend ..." She was right. I need to calm down. But we just get along really well!  Even though her oldest kids, the twins, are a year younger than me.... weird. But we have a lot in common and I really just want to help her see there's more important things than shopping and dating rich men and being really in shape. Which is weird because everyone knows that's what used to be important to me.

Did I talk about us teaching Midge? The 92-year-old? She's so stubborn. And it's really weird to "teach" her because it's really like, disguising the lessons... working doctrine and testimony into conversation really casually.... on Saturday we were "teaching" her and I guess I was too bold because all of a sudden she went, "I've had enough! No more about the Book of Mormon!"  Hahah it's really the weirdest thing ... it's sneaky teaching. Normally I wouldn't be so dedicated with her... but.... we REALLY need people to teach hahah.  Can you tell I'm getting desperate? Oh well.

Also- what else has changed in the past 18 months besides the ridiculously CHEAP gas and everyone having white cabinets in their kitchens? Weird.

Sister Hansen Saved My Life

Me with President and Sister Hansen, the day I arrived in the mission field

This was a tragic week in the Utah Salt Lake City Mission and in the life of Sister Shields. People keep saying how hard it must be to lose the wife of our mission president. She wasn't just the wife of my mission president to me. At the funeral all these people were asking if I knew Sister Hansen very well. Did I know her very well? I'm trying not to be dramatic, but that's like an understatement haha. Not many missionaries knew Sister Hansen like me and Sister Hornberger did. I know how particular she is about where her kitchen knives go, and how she hates when sisters have long hair that covers their name tags, and who her favorite painters are, and that she doesn't like cheese on her salads, and her biggest pet peeve is slang language and hair elastics on wrists. I know how she likes her hair cut and styled. I had the privilege of spending lots of time with her. So yes - I did know her well. And she saved my life.

For those missionaries who didn't know her well- they thought she was strict and straight-laced and knit-picky and stern. Elder Tapia - our AP who talked at her memorial even said - (and I quote) "David might not have been afraid of Goliath .. But I bet he'd be afraid of Sister Hansen!" And she was kind of scary ... but that personality is what helped me and I know I needed that. When I came to her with a really serious personal problem a year ago, I will never forget what she said to me. She said: "Well... I can send you to a therapist and they'll send you home, or you can cut it out and get over it right now." At the time, that wasn't so comforting, haha - but it worked! I cut it out. And she called me twice a week to check in on me. Had she been all soft and cushy with me, I'd never had gotten over it and probably would have spent the rest of my mission miserable. She worried about me; she told me that afterwards. But I didn't know that at the time because honestly she just scared me. Most of the missionaries were scared of her and said a lot of not-nice things about her ... I heard a lot, especially when I was an STL and went on exchanges.  And that made me mad like nothing else.  That's when I would tell them, “Don't you dare say that about her; Sister Hansen saved my life.” And she knew they would say these things about her. At every single meeting President Hansen was at, he would tell all the missionaries at least once, "and I love Sister Hansen." When I got closer with Sis Hansen, she opened up and told me how hard it was for her to be in this calling and how the things people said and they way she was treated really hurt. This mission was a sacrifice for her too!

Rewind to Wednesday at 2 pm. Me and my comp Sister Costa had interviews with President. This was originally scheduled for Thursday, but President rescheduled for some reason. We went and I had a great interview. I was determined to not talk about going home at all, but he brought it up and and told me I needed to work in the temple when I got home so I could understand more the blessings of eternal families. After my interview, I asked if he was done for the day and he said he wouldn't be until late that night. Then Sister Hansen passed away that evening. It was just so weird because I had been with him a few hours earlier and all was well.

The funeral and memorial was hard. I bawled. It's been like the hardest week of my mission. I just feel like no one saw the side of her that I saw. Me and Sister Hornberger spent an evening in PJ's with her, painting toenails! She was a fun, crazy grandma who embroidered quotes on fancy sewing machines while singing, and thinks the cure for every medical problem was either to go to work, drink Gatorade, or blame it on PMS. Except if you're having back problems from a stiff bed - then you put a sheet of plywood under your mattress. She's kind of OCD about decorating Christmas trees and not changing the lyrics to hymns. She loved Isaiah and ordered an olive tree online because she loved Jacob 5 so much. And President Hansen loved her. Almost as much as he loves missionary work. And I think knowing that has been the hardest thing. Who knows what's going to happen now?! The mission's in complete limbo and they haven't given us any information at all. Everything's changing and I hate it. AND... Saturday we had a huge mission-wide conference call. Everyone thought it would be about this... Nope. We're getting iPads. iPads? We lost Sister Hansen and we’re losing our mission president and immature elders are joking and laughing on the phone call where they announce we're getting iPads? Couldn't we have waited like a week or 2 to announce that? Oh well. I only had a slight meltdown.

But you know what I learned this week?  I was so worried (as was everyone else) about how President Hansen would hold up. She was his life! Next to missionary work. And just like that, he lost both. But he is fine and happy and content. Someone asked if he was ok and he said, "of course I'm ok - I'm married to Carol Hansen for eternity!" He really taught me the impact a strong testimony has on life's trials. The spirit at the memorial and the funeral was really strong... maybe because some of the quorum of the 12 and a bunch of the 70 were there ... or maybe because the Plan of Salvation through Jesus Christ is real. It is! And how important that we not only make vows to our spouse at marriage, because humans don't have control of the after life, but that we make vows to each other and to God that bind us to Him first, then to each other. Here's a question I've been pondering - How does God see death? Just a part of the plan and us returning back to Him. It's been a terrible week - I'm not gonna lie. And I was upset and hate all this change and honestly want to go home 6 weeks early... but oh well. I will always remember the last convo I had with Sister Hansen when she asked if she could be my 3rd grandma. And that's awesome. And also awesome - the funeral today was like a legit mission reunion. I got to see all my past zone leaders and AP's and companions who have gone home! Sister Hornberger like broke me down hardcore.

In other news ... I start my last transfer tomorrow. I am staying in the area with Sis Costa. We have 3 eternal investigators, Nick, Chris and Jessica. Life is good in Fruit Heights. See you all soon!

PS Kacie Raley is getting married in Bountiful in April. BOUNTIFUL. I love Bountiful.

The end.

Look how gross this is - it's a 5 pound donut!

Teaching some cute YW at mutual

Nobody's perfect

At Temple Square with the Williams family

Family & friends -

So we went to temple square this week with the Williams family - as you can see from the picture. We watched the "God's Plan for the Family" presentation ... for those of you who haven't seen it - you NEED to. It's so good. Especially when Amanda May (friend from home, just returned from her mission at temple square) does your tour.  It's based on the family proclamation to the world and it's just fantastic ... Lindsay (wife) started coming back to church when Boston (son) got baptized a few months ago. She bawled through the whole presentation and I felt bad, but it was awesome. The spirit was so strong and it killed me because I know how she must have felt ... like she wants to be sealed to her family so badly but she can't force Nick to do anything. Afterwards, we asked Nick what he thought of it and he said "I think I'll get baptized in June." Me: "Okay ... why June?"  Nick: "Well, so next June we can take a cruise to Hawaii and get sealed in that temple." Uh.... haha, okay, I guess we'll take it? After talking to him a little more I think we figured him out. He feels like the church (especially in UT) is perfect and everyone has perfect families and perfect lives ... He has had some addiction problems and is a little rough around the edges and he probably doesn't feel like he fits in ... nor does he want to!

We ran into this similar problem with someone else I love in this area... Natalie Delight. She was raised in the church. She got pregnant at 17 with TWINS. Then she married their dad and it was a terrible marriage and didn't last. A few years later, she got married in the temple to a guy, had 2 more kids. Then long story short, he was terrible to her and left her for his secretary or something. So now she's divorced. She is SO gorgeous ... like perfect in every way. She has a great successful job and wears classy clothes (not like that matters) but the past few years she's been totally inactive and kind of partying. When I got to this area, the sisters had just reactivated her and baptized her 2 youngest kids. I thought she was solid because she's technically been coming to church every week. We get along real well so I was talking to her yesterday ... she said she only comes to church when she has her kids and then leaves after sacrament meeting and picks them up after Primary. She really wants to do what's right but doesn't have a testimony at all. She doesn't feel like she fits in or like she can relate to anyone. It breaks my heart. Her oldest son is on a mission right now (don't ask me how; I don't know) and he wants her so badly to get it together. But it's true, the ward is kind of singling her out without trying to. I love her so much and she's such a good example. I feel like she's my best friend... haha, but what I learned - the gospel is for EVERYONE and church is not for perfect people. If it was- no one would be at church!  That's what I learned this week. Now to help the people we teach see that!

Sister Shields

I got to go back to SLC for Christian's baptism!

Pioneer YSA reunion! AP's (Elders Tapia and Steed), Christian, Sister Tranchina, Me, Sister West (replaced me). It's too bad my leg warmers fell down and you can't see them because they are so cute... they're lacy at the top!

55 Days

No, I'm not counting down.... well, sort of. But not because I want it to be done. I just feel ready for a new challenge other than desperately trying to find people to teach and how to get these life-long investigators to progress.... No, I'm not trunky - but I will be very ready to continue being a missionary in the comfort of my own bed with my giant 4 foot long stuffed dog and my Nixon watch and the luxury of being able to go to sleep at 9 pm. But I'm not trunky. That's just planning ahead for the future. That's important, right? Didn't an apostle say, "look ahead and believe?"  Well I'm looking ahead and believing I will be very happy.

Don't get the wrong impression ... I am still working dang hard. So hard that I don't even know how I'm doing it because I'm so out of ideas and so exhausted... But I have this different attitude than I did when I was in Bountiful, which was really similar to here. Now instead of being desperate and trying to think of ideas to find new people and fill time, I'm thinking, "okay, I don't know what to do. Let's pray and do whatever I can think of after that. And it probably won't work... but the Lord will see that I'm trying and making an effort to work and somehow he'll provide a way for things to keep going." I don't know if that's faith and relying on the Lord or me being lazy and not wanting to get emotionally drained .... oh well, haha.

All is well here in Fruit Heights/Kaysville. Sister Costa is so cute. Her English is still not the best and she's self conscious about it but she's so precious ... I feel bad sometimes because members don't understand her.  But she has more faith than I've ever seen. She's so cute- when we plan lessons she goes, "we can share our testimony with them." I can't describe the way she says it - it's just so cute and sweet and pure ... I want her to know how grateful I am for her and her hard work and being so in tune with the spirit. I think sometimes she feels that I am superior to her because I've been out longer and understand American slang and sarcasm really well ... but lets be real here. She's 26 - she has a masters in biology and taught college and high school and knows the scriptures 50 times better than I do. She's definitely well qualified- more than me! I am trying to find a way for her to realize that. And for me to show her that.

We lost 2 investigators this week for various reasons. So now we are teaching a crap ton of recent converts (wonder if those phrases have ever been used in the same sentence before), a few less-actives and 3 investigators. Nick - he's stubborn and goes to sacrament meeting every week; his wife and son are members. Jessica- CUTE and young- living with her member boyfriend and his active parents. They have a cute baby together and really want to be sealed as a family. They got to church sometimes and read and pray every night. but she needs to realize that for them to be sealed, she needs the lessons (we can never schedule with her), and... she needs to marry her boyfriend. They are so cute though.... they WILL get married and he will baptize her before I leave. Okay, maybe not.... but I'll come back for it! And the 3rd is a guy named Chris - his family is all active. He goes to church every single week, but he just won't get baptized. He believes in science and wants proof for everything. If you can tell... it's kind of frustrating coming from YSA where we had a baptism every other week and were always finding new people to teach who are completely prepared... But good things will happen with these people!

One cool thing this week .... we are teaching this less-active couple - Beth and Lance. They have been taught by missionaries for 8 months, 2 times a week. Beth comes to church sometimes, Lance never does. When I got to the area Sister Costa said they just read the Book of Mormon with them every lesson. We did that a couple times then I got impatient and decided we needed to try something else, so we taught them about the importance of the sacrament. We really broke it down and asked a bunch of thinking questions to them, like, "why is it important that we take the sacrament every week? What do get receive in return for taking the sacrament worthily and how could that help you?" Then we committed them to read a conference talk about the sacrament. The next lesson, they had actually read it! And had good comments about it. They were really different than from before and it was an awesome lesson. Then they committed to come to church! Yay!

That was my week ... basically. And on Monday I got to ombre/melt one of the sister's hair and it was BEAUTIFUL. I was hyperventilating, basically.

Have a good week!
Sister Shields

A Frozen New Year

Allen's baptism

So I heard it snowed in Mesa ... that's really too bad - I thought AZ would be the only place I could get away from that, haha. This week we had a huge wind storm and it blew snow all over the place. We went to open our door a few days ago and it was literally 4 feet high around our door! I should have taken a picture ... those days are hard for me and Sister Costa because we hate snow, haha and I hate driving in it ... it's so hard to be motivated to move when it's so cold and wet.... I officially broke the record for the ugliest outfits this week.  No exaggeration. But I was warm so I honestly don't even care.

This week:

- For new years, we got together as a missionary district and watched Frozen and Emperor's New Groove. It was fun. But weird ... like, sitting in the dark wrapped in blankets, next to elders? It felt like a sin, haha! And it was the weirdest/scariest thing ... as we were watching Frozen and it would get all intense, I found myself in missionary mode and thinking, "why haven't they prayed yet?!" Or when she had to pick between the prince and the boy- literally this was my thought process: "Well, I wonder which one has a stronger testimony and which one would take her to the temple ... oh shoot, Heidi are you kidding me? Cut it out!" Hahah it was seriously ridiculous - it happened the whole movie and I couldn't even enjoy it because I was comparing everything to missionary work and the gospel.

-Got to go on exchanges with my STL's, one of whom happens to be Sister Loy. She was trained by Sister Hornberger right after me so that makes us like mission "sisters." It was so fun to have STL's again ( I haven't had an STL since Sister Hornberger 8 months ago) and to be able to go to her for advice instead of ME trying to give advice and worry about doing everything right and setting a good example ... it was nice. This area's been kind of hard for me - I don't know how to be effective here. It's like a ritzy farmland and just like Bountiful; there's maybe 4 nonmembers and 7 less-active houses in each ward. Now, we do cover 18 wards ... but still. I'm trying to find the best way to work here.

-Baptism for Allen H. Quick on him ... he and his wife and 2 teenager kids have lived in the neighborhood for awhile and never had any interest in the church at all. A few years ago he got in a bad motorcycling accident and is now disabled. His family really struggled for a while and it made them a little more receptive to the gospel. His wife was baptized a few months ago but he was SO not interested. He didn't want anything to do with the missionaries. Slowly, he got a little better and got to the point where he would sit in on her lessons. Then one day (about a month ago) he said he wanted to be baptized! And he hadn't even been officially receiving the lessons, haha - so they put him on date and then I got here. So I've gotten to help him with actually getting baptized.... teaching all the lessons, helping him actually gain a testimony and not just the desire to have a fresh start and be baptized. He's still really intimidating to me.... maybe I've just had too many bad experiences with scary men like him who answer their doors and tell me to go away.... but he really does have a strong testimony. It was a great baptism and his wife was so happy. His 2 teenage kids are our next goal! :)

-The sister here before me with Sister Costa put boxes in all the church building with slips of paper to fill out and write who they've invited this week. We have spent a lot of time going through and calling to follow up with those. It was such a good idea for this area! Especially with the "He is the Gift" video. It's so cute to call and talk to little 7-year-olds who wrote down that they invited their friend from school to go to church ... seriously it's my favorite thing. Just goes to show, we all really need to be like little children and share what means the most to us. Trying to read their handwriting, on the other hand ....

Have a good week!
Sister Shields